Tidy house, tidy mind?

I hear this saying a lot, and I never really take it in. Recently however, I’ve started to understand it. I’ve not long gotten out of a depression spiral, and the house suffered for it. Even small tasks seemed impossible, asides from things for TJ – mum mode seems to override my depression in terms of getting him up and ready for school, meeting his basic needs like getting him food, drinks and keeping him clean and tidy. On Tuesday of this week I went back on my antidepressants which I’m already contemplating coming back off them because I’m not sleeping, but that’s another story. As well as this, I sat and made a list of everything I needed to get done housework wise, it was a very long, daunting list and I couldn’t see me doing any of it with how my brain was fighting against me. Anyway the day carried on, I forced myself to go into town even though I didnt really need to, just for something to do to keep me from laying on the sofa overthinking all day. Whilst out I saw some products that I kept seeing on all the cleaning Instagrams etc, they were cheap enough so I picked a few up.

I was eager to use them but by the time I got home, because buses are awful I didnt really have time before getting TJ from school, and then TJ had a rough time at school and had a sensory overload when he got home and needed my full attention all night so not alot got done and we ended up ordering food in. (At least that’s less washing up to catch up though haha)

Bedtime finally came for TJ, and I was flicking through Instagram and came across cleaning accounts, all these people had perfect show homes that barely got dirty enough to need cleaning, which made my mind worse! Why isnt my house this perfect? Anyway it got me thinking, what about a more realistic cleaning routine? After joking to a friend about making my own cleaning account, I took the plunge. The account aims to be for when lows hit and you still want to get things done, and realistic cleaning regimes for houses that actually get dirty! The account is @disinfectingmymind if youd like to give it a follow.

So Wednesday comes, I drop off TJ at school and I finally get the chance to try these new products. It was like I was possessed, I had my list and things were being ticked off, and it felt great. Some jobs took a lot longer than others, like my sons room – who new a kid could make so much mess? But I got most of them done before I needed to pick up TJ, when he came home we played for a bit in his nice tidy and clean room and he promised me he’d keep it tidy. (We’ll see!)

For the most part the house was tidy and clean, and I already felt so much better for it. I managed to get myself in the shower once TJ was in bed, and I didnt even feel bad about the fact that there was a few bits left on the list, whereas usually I’d be really anxious and feel like I hadnt accomplished anything if my list wasn’t all ticked off. The jobs that weren’t done have been added to today’s list and theyll get done eventually.

So tidy house, tidy mind?

I think there’s definitely some truth there!

My child, my lifesaver.

He doesn’t even know it, but my beautiful little guy saves my life daily.

Depression is awful, but as a parent – you kind of just get on with things. You know you have to for your little. You force yourself to do things because they rely on us. Even when we feel like the worst parent in the world, we know we have to carry on for them.

On my worst days, when I get the worst of thoughts, I know that I can’t do that to my child, I can’t imagine the pain that must cause, and it’s something I dont ever want my son to go through. That probably sounds irrational but it helps me through the urge.

I came across a good quote that has actually helped me so much.

The way I transfer this quote to my life is my lists. I always make lists of what I need to do in the day. I get so frustrated with myself if I don’t finish the lists but with this quote in mind, I shouldn’t see it that way, I should see the bits I did get done as a victory. Today has been one of those days, I’ve not done much at all housework wise. However I did watch the new series of Black Mirror, so it ended up being a kind of chill day, which is also good sometimes especially if you’re feeling exhausted etc. Tomorrow I can tackle the list of stuff to do.

If you’re struggling with mental health, reach out. Reach out to a friend or family member if you can, but if you dont feel like you can do that then there is many different resources available.

Anxiety UK

Charity providing support if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.

Phone: 03444 775 774 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm)

Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk

Bipolar UK

A charity helping people living with manic depression or bipolar disorder.

Website: www.bipolaruk.org.uk

CALM

CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.

Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)

Website: www.thecalmzone.net

Men’s Health Forum

24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.

Website: www.menshealthforum.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation

Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.

Website: www.mentalhealth.org.uk

Mind

Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.

Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)

Website: www.mind.org.uk

No Panic

Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Offers a course to help overcome your phobia or OCD.

Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am to 10pm)

Website: www.nopanic.org.uk

PAPYRUS

Young suicide prevention society.

Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm and 7pm to 10pm, and 2pm to 5pm on weekends)

Website: www.papyrus-uk.org

Rethink Mental Illness

Support and advice for people living with mental illness.

Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm)

Website: www.rethink.org

Samaritans

Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)

Website: www.samaritans.org.uk

SANE

Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.

SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30pm to 10.30pm)

Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: www.sane.org.uk/textcare

Peer support forum: www.sane.org.uk/supportforum

Website: www.sane.org.uk/support

YoungMinds

Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.

Phone: Parents’ helpline 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm)

Website: www.youngminds.org.uk

Paw Patrol & Potty Training

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Today seems to be the first day that TJ has taken to his potty training. We have tried a few times before, but he just didn’t seem ready. I decided to try again today, because he’s been sort of telling us when he needs the toilet. I didn’t expect much because he’s still young, and like I said he’s struggled with it before.

But this time, he seems to have got it. Warning: Theres gonna be some gross parent talk.

IMG_2509edit.jpgSo first of all, he realised he was weeing and before I could get to him he had already sat himself down and was using his potty. Its a Thomas the Tank Engine one that toots when the sensors have something on them, so it made the noises and he got up and I cheered. He was so happy. I got him a mini roll, thinking it was a fluke but that he needed a reward. A little while later he started telling me he needed a wee, I walked over (I can see him from where I’m sitting but there’s a table restricting my view of the actual potty) and saw that he had sat on the potty and done a poo, unfortunately he hadn’t sat far enough forward so it was on the edge of the seat. I placed him in front of the potty so he could stand and pee into it so that wouldn’t go everywhere whilst I cleared up his poo. Just a little while ago, he told me he needed a wee then sat on his potty again and shouted ‘I did it’. This time I gave him a cracker as a reward, and gave him a big hug like last time and told him well done. I don’t want to give him a mini roll everytime he uses it, he’ll get as fat as me!

Now I’ve got a big roast dinner cooking ready for when Gordon gets in, and we’re watching Paw Patrol.Here’s hoping for this to be the start of official potty training!

So if I could offer any advice on potty training it would just be don’t rush it! Try it little and often, also make sure they have a comfortable potty. We started out with a cheap potty that TJ would not even sit on and he didn’t really fit on comfortably. Then we upgraded to the Fisher Price Thomas the Tank Engine Rewards Potty (we brought ours from Argos for £30) and it seems a lot better for him so far. Plus it doubles up as a toilet booster and step when they get to the next stage!

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So proud of this cheeky little monkey!

Embarrassing Incidents

I luckily haven’t had many embarrassing moments as a parent, but today was one of the worst.

I took TJ to get his haircut and the woman refused to do it because apparently he had head lice – she said this very loudly in front of the whole salon, and I had to walk out of their with his hair soaking wet where she had sprayed it. I understand that they don’t want to cut hair with head lice in, and they are going round the nursery he’s at. However, since the warning went up at the nursery I have gone through his hair every night, and went through last night and found nothing. Anyway, she had just cut another childs hair before TJ’s and had told the mum that he had a few nits.  She had to sterilise everything before she started doing TJ’s hair, and I genuinely believe she maybe saw a few eggs and just didn’t want to have to sterilise everything again. So rude. I’ve never been so embarrassed. I wouldn’t have minded as much, but when we got home I couldn’t find anything in his hair and I sat there for a good half an hour going through it with a nit comb. He has some cuts on his head from his eczema and some general dirt from being outside, other than that not a thing. I’m fuming. She could have cut his hair, she just didn’t want to.

He needs it done desperately because it’s so thick and curly and horrible in this heat, but I don’t know where else does children’s cuts in my area, and I’m definitely not going to this place again!

Please share your embarrassing stories as a parent and make me feel better!

 

 

Parenting Pet Peeve

Hands up mum’s and dads, who has ever been told how to parent by someone who has less experience than you?
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I can’t stand it. My son is two and a half, I think I know by now how to look after him when he’s poorly. If you have advice, that’s fine by all means give me advice, I may not use it but at least it’s not telling me what to do.

But when someone tells you what to do with your child – even though they are telling you exactly what the NHS out of hours doctors suggest and I’d already rang them twice, it’s pretty annoying.

What have you been told to do when it comes to your child(ren)? Or do you not mind people telling you things when it comes to your child? Let me know in the comments!